Surviving the Darkness of Pain

Ugg, today I get up after a few days of serious pain from who even knows what anymore.  But, I have had migraine, head, skull, neck, trap, upper back, and lower back pain since I have been out of college, and I won't even tell you how long that has been!  When it gets over the limit, I vomit and get bad stomach pains.  So, I was like this for two days, and when I woke up the same way on day three, I knew I had to get to the Emergency Room for some help, that's even if they can help release my pain.  I have gone to the ER many times for this, and sometimes they can not give me morphine, which is the only thing that relaxes the pain, calms it down, but still doesn't take it away. They were really nice in the ER I went to, since I am in a new area, I haven't been there yet.  They were really thorough and gave me a small dose of morphine as well!  My body became calm, peaceful, and thankful. 

Now I am home, and the pain is calmer, and all I can say is I feel so relieved!  So relieved I lived through that type of pain, because when I get an attack like that, it becomes totally debilitating, and I am living alone.  With no one around to help, comfort, or even care, and being in such pain and you can not sleep because of the pain, it is certainly challenging to say the least.  I also am not in a place where I want to be in my life, so those feelings set in as well, and with all that, and the pain, all I can do is cry.  So, I cried for two days, without sleep due to the pain, and by day three I had to do something to take care of myself.  

The stomach pain was making it worse, along with the nausea and vomiting.  When I feel that way, and being as deep as I am, I get to a point and ask why any other higher source above, would allow anyone to feel this pain?

But, for today, I am thankful, so thankful the pain is calmer, and enlightenment has come through.  After all the pain, once it calms, Spirit guides me with many creative ideas, ideas I want to manifest now on my path in helping others and publishing some books!

I am always grateful that I come back to a place of Love, a place of faith, and hope, and that God sense inside to help lift me up and know I am a phoenix rising!!

Love and Blessings always!!