So many days I feel I have no friends!
My lifetime friend who is single never even thinks of asking me, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend, do you have plans, want to do something?" Never, and she is only 45 minutes away, I was here all summer, and not once did she come by!
The same thing with my niece who thought I was so close to but apparently are not. I see her post pictures they are at the beach, right up the street from me, along with my brother and sister in law, and the don't even text me, "Hey, we're at the beach if you want to stop by, or I am having my Mom and Dad over for dinner, why not come, or even, stop by this weekend, I have the kids!! Nothing, Nada!
I just don' know what happened, did I do something wrong? All I did was go to see my niece every other weekend when she lived with my brother to help her with her two young boys, only a few years old. She left her husband when her second son was born, and me being the caring one, went to help her all the time, driving 45 minutes each way, along with my daughter! And now, a few years later, I live near her, she is now married to a man I love, and she barely ever invites me over. She has her Mom and my brother over every weekend, and still never invites me. Not even my brother mentioning to her to invite me? Everyone knows I am alone, and miss my children and family dearly, they all know I struggle with this. She has a Mom who never liked my family, as soon as she came into the family, she took my brother away from us and he never came to another family holiday again. How sad that is, to be so controlling, so unfair, and how does my brother just kiss her ass and go along with it? He obviously doesn't care much about his own family, if he did, he would have alternated holidays, or made ways to see us. It's now been 40 years of this, and I get hurt and upset, and get angry with my sister in law for doing this, doing this to him, and to my family as well, as he is not in it at all! We were raised to be together, support one another, and that family is important. I guess he missed that message and married a control freak!
I get sad because I am so alone, I wake up alone still, go to bed alone still, and no one is here for me. My niece who I helped so much, never thinks of me on the weekend, never inviting me to do anything, or even to stop by. I even remember last year as they invited me to the boys recital, they all went out to eat, AND LEFT ME OUT!
Shocking, hurt, disappointed? All of this! My family, I helped her sooooo much, ran to see her all the time, and now look, I am alone, need connection to family and loved ones, and she doesn't even reach out to me! Not even when she is home, and my brother is there, all she has to do is text me to come by! Nope, never, none of this, and yes, it does hurt!
Time to take a look at my life, and who is there for me? No One! My best friend from childhood doesn't care if I am sad and lonely every weekend, she knows I am as I tell her all the time, and she doesn't care enough to make plans, come over, hit the beach together, nothing, nada! I moved at the beach, shes not far away, and single, and not once came by over the summer on a weekend to hit the beach, go out, nothing!
My other other sister in law I was close to since I have been 15, and I, aren't close anymore either. Her husband, my brother, has had issues with me for years, even getting mad at me and yelling at me for no reason at all! Finally, I addressed it to him, wanting to go to breakfast and talk, and he ignored that text! Wow, okay, guess you do not care if I am your only sister, went through a terrible abusive marriage and divorce, even lost custody of my children for awhile, and you don't care enough about me and our relationship to TALK AND WORK IT OUT? AND BE THERE FOR ME?? Then your a total ass! What a slap in the face! And now, my sister in law and I do not talk anymore either. This happened last year sometime.
I do understand with the Ascension and the energies shifting, when my energy lifts, others around me drop off like dead flies! So, I have seen all this in the past, and accepted it, but now, to find my niece ditching me to, saddens me. She lives five minutes from me, my only family around here, she asks me to watch her kids when she needs me, we are at the beach and I would text her each weekend in the summer to see if she was there, but I suppose she has no time for me now, with her new family, and her own controlling Mother.
So, I am waking up so sad. Sad to still be alone, sad to still live alone, wanting to be with loved ones, to live with them and not alone.
I am planning on moving to where my daughter is in Hoboken, but for now I am still here. I am opening a Yoga Studio now, and have lots of work on that to get it into creation, and get the hell out of here! Here, where I thought I would have more loved ones around, as I am right near my niece, and closer to my friend than I have ever been, and neither of them ever reach out to me to hang out, get together as a friend and bond!
Get me out of here, away from the only family I have here as they aren't even here for me, get me to be near my kids, with my kids, the only ones who really care!
