I wake up today sad and crying again! As I sit crying, so many memories pass through my head, sad memories. I can't seem to shake them, I take a bike ride to the beach, take a beautiful walk, hang out a bit, and come back home, sweating from the bike ride! I jump in the shower, get out, and start crying again!
I feel the need to be with my daughters today, either one. It is Saturday, and I get very sad when I am alone on the weekend, and truly yearn to see my family. My one daughter is mad at me again, since I tried to remind her to focus positive thoughts towards her brother who is looking for a place to live now. My new book, Sara I, II, and III, are amazing books about an Owl who teaches these young kids about the Law of the Universe, the Power of Attraction, how we all vibrate and likes attract likes, so be careful what you focus on. When she brought up something negative about him, I tried to remind her to just be positive for him, that got her mad. She has always had a hard time with her brother, not really wanting to lift him up, praise him, etc. That is a huge problem I see, everyone is always focusing on the negative, the worse in someone and dwelling on it!! The drama, they go over the same negative situation again and again, not realizing how it is affecting everyone again and again, in a negative way! We can not feel happy, with a higher vibration, and be in the flow of source, and feel badly at the same time. When we feel bad, and focus on that, we are turning off the enormous flow of energy, of life, of the Universe, of Source, that is always turned on for us! But, when we feel happy thoughts, focus on what makes us feel good, we change everything! We change what comes to us, we get what we want, what we focus on, the happy or sad, good or bad. Yes, there is much sadness around now, but we are in an ascension process here on earth, changing the way we live forever!!
If my daughter wasn't mad at me, I would have went to visit her today, and would have loved it. I love being around my family, and they were my family for so many years, and we were always together, raising our children together! Now, my one daughter is living at her Aunt's home, who has a beautiful home, beautiful pool, jacuzzi, etc.. I love being at their home, there's always so much going on, people coming and going, great energy around! It's a weekend day, and I am alone, without any of that nice energy, connection, and love that goes around when you visit loved ones. I have known my sister in law for probably thirty years, lost touch for ten years, but now reunited. When I am with her it is awesome, just a great feeling to be around people who know you and still care! She loves my daughter so much, it is so beautiful to see, and I am very grateful for that. Her husband as well.
I should have just text my ex sister in law and asked her if I could come visit to see my ex mother in law. I could go anytime my daughter would want to see me, but she hasn't invited me yet. I have seen her there because I was visiting her Grandma, not because she invited me. This all makes me so sad, and I can't do anything to change it. I have to accept it, and send her love and light, hoping to heal our relationship. I just wish she would talk to me about what's upsetting her. So, I pray!
I wish I could go see my other daughter, who lives in Hoboken. Her and her boyfriend are always so busy, and now his health is being affected due to him working too much! He has amazing energy, and is a Behavioral Dog Trainer, and works with the must difficult of dogs. I would love to have been able to go to see her today, and help her with anything she needs help with! I know she has a lot of responsibilities now, and I would love to just go to see her and give her a hand. But, that seems difficult to do as well.
It seems so difficult to make a life for myself, one that I love, without my children in it, because they really are not anymore. Talking to them, seeing them once in awhile, is no where enough, right now, and your life is waking up, going to bed each day, and who is in it?? I have no one right now, and I am feeling it big time!
My mantra for today is, "Life is easy, life is fun, let's play like kids under the sun!"
Trying to twist it up, always love and light!
xoxoxoxox
